NLP believes that what you focus on is what you get.
One of the major objectives behind NLP techniques is to get you to focus on something that solves the problem. NLP suggests that the problem exists because of what you were focusing on in the first place. Let’s take some practical & real life example.
Problem: “My boss is always rude”
Solution: Ask yourself the below questions, you will get the answer!!
What is your definition of ‘always’? (Maybe its occasionally, but not daily)
What is your definition of ‘rude’?? (Maybe he just has a high pitch voice)
In the beginning when you were new, wasn’t’ he good to you? or was
he rude even when you met him first time?
Is he rude with everyone? or only with you? (maybe you are doing something wrong so he is reacting)
Didn’t he ever compliment you?
Din’t he ever talk to you with a smiling face?
The issue with us is that whenever we say ‘problem’ we generalize one trait or habit & magnify it so much in our minds that our only focus is that aspect of his life. And then it becomes such a huge problem that all the other good qualities become so small & insignificant that we almost overlook & miss them.
To get the solution shift your Focus to his good qualities & magnify them. And if at all he behaves badly, take responsibility and see where you can improve your behavior so that he will also change. Do this exercise & gradually you will start seeing him as a good person.
Note: For the above example, replace it with your friend/colleague/ wife :)or with whoever you have a problem and then ask yourself the above Questions. God-willing you will get the answer.Does anyone has a good experience to share, after doing the above exercise??